Steps in *our* Process (this time)

Hi all!

Chrissy and I just got done with our 2nd IUI. It went AMAZING (hopefully so amazing that there’s a baby in me).

I wanted to give you all an idea of what *our* process… this time looked like (keeping in mind that each IUI, uterus, cycle, doctor, vagina, nurse, etc are all different).

Steps in the process:

-Get my period: I have to hold my breath every single month for my period to start. But, luckily, with the mix of fertility meds and a healthy diet, my body has come to a somewhat “normal” period.

-Planning: As we mentioned on our Insta, our doc is out on maternity leave. So, we switched doctors to someone that Dr. N recommended. I talked with our new doctor and he came up with a solid plan for us. (I have the overwhelming urge to call him Dr. McDreamy because he is a very good looking man – but we’ll just call him Dr. T!) Dr. T went over my file and came up with a new plan for this month.

-Femara: This fell a day late this cycle just because we were getting all of our information correct….

-Ultrasound: …But it worked! Day 14 ultrasound confirmed a follicle that was about 20.5mm.

-HCG Trigger Shot: I should have had this on day 14 when we went to the docs office to have my ultrasound. But, like a dork, I totally forgot the shot at home. So my wife willingly and happily gave me my shot again this month. She’s a gem!

-Insemination #1: Dr. T wanted to do one insemination a day earlier than we normally would (day 15) and then one on day 17 (we did 17 & 18 last month). He said this would be so there would already be sperm waiting for the egg when I ovulate. Great!

-Insemination #2: Went awesome! Just a note that I haven’t read almost anywhere: your cervix and uterus may be SUPER crampy after your first IUI of the month. If you are doing a second one a day or two later, do yourself a favor and take some Tylenol. It does wonders.

Something I learned this month is to trust the doctors even more than I already do – Dr. T wanted to do things differently. And I was pleasantly surprised at how everything was handled… after some minor worry that things were changing. Our doctors office is so amazing and I absolutely adore my wife who makes me laugh while I have my butt propped up on a pillow so the little swimmers head up instead of down.

Two weeks from now we’ll know!

Love,

Abby & Chrissy

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New Doctor!

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Hi All!

Abby here. We went to our new doctor’s office yesterday. As you may or may not remember from our last post, our last doctor’s visit did not go well. In essence, no bedside manner. And it is important to Chrissy and I to have a good experience with this doctor. So we ventured out to find another.

Just a note here… I talked in my last post about asking questions and ensuring that you feel comfortable with your doctor. And I would like to reiterate that point. If something does not feel good, if you and your doc are not jiving, PLEASE do yourself a favor and switch doctors. This process is stressful enough. You want a doctor that will advocate for you and treats you with respect and dignity.  

Chrissy has a good friend that utilized this new doctor’s office for him and his wife’s fertility issues. And seeing as its the only other fertility office in our little town – we thought we would give it a try.

From the moment we walked in the door, everything was better. I’m not kidding. Everything from the waiting room to the women at the desk who greeted us.

Then came the doctor.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

Our doc (let’s call her ‘Dr. N’) was a breath of fresh air from the start of our appointment to the last moment. Dr. N looked over my chart thoroughly. She was SHOCKED that they told me it was a possibility that I had a tumor. That my Prolactin levels were only slightly elevated and there was no reason to worry. Additionally, she said that only one result on my blood test indicated that I have PCOS. She called it a “very minor case”.

How I didn’t leap off that table and start dancing around the exam room is beyond me. We were so excited! She answered all of our questions. Her best friend from college is gay and did IUI to get pregnant. And she has preformed IUI procedures before! Chrissy’s big thing was to leave the office with a plan. Before Chrissy could even bring it up, Dr. N said, “Okay, so what’s the plan? Let’s get this started!” OMG. MY FAITH IS RESTORED. WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY.

At this point in the appointment she made a turkey baster joke. I love it.

We would like to take the fall months to save some money. (Sperm is NOT cheap and none of the procedures are covered under our insurance. But more on the financial side later….) Chrissy has graciously and selflessly offered to work as much overtime as possible so that we can stockpile to buy our little swimmers. With that said, Dr. N said that she would like to try Clomid out on me to see how my body reacts. Clomid is a drug that makes your body ovulate at a specific time. It makes my cycle very easy to track and will allow us to do IUI at the right moment.

We are going to do trial runs of Clomid in November and December to make sure that my body processes the drug properly and we have our timing right. Then, we will purchase our sperm (I believe that we have a donor picked) and have it shipped to us (2) units at a time. Each insemination is (1) unit and Dr. N thinks that we should try 2 times per ovulation.

“So, call me!” Dr. N says with a smile and a handshake to both me and my wonderful wife.

I cannot tell you how much this appointment has changed our perspective on this whole process. I thought getting pregnant was going to require a miracle. And it still may not work. But Dr. N made us feel like she’s on our side. She’s confident in the process and that my body will do well with the Clomid. She has a plan. And damn! She has a sense of humor.

I can’t wait to update you again on the process soon!

Love,

Abby & Chrissy

Step One – Donors

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Abby here!

So… what’s the first step in the process when you get pregnant as lesbians? Obviously the first step is to discuss the potential of parenthood with your partner. But, seeing as Chrissy and I did that via text before we even met … we had that step covered.

One of the first things we really did was make an appointment with a fertility specialist in our area. And, unsurprisingly, we had to wait almost two months for our appointment. In the meantime, we began doing as much research as possible about cryobanks, cost and how much testing and information they provide.

Something I think needs to be said here is that Chrissy and I discussed our donor options and we have decided to go with an anonymous donor. We do have friends that have and will use donors that they know. No one way is better than the other – this is just the route we have chosen to build our family.

We narrowed the search down to four cryobanks. They are all fairly well known. We were sitting on our couch one weekend, looking through all the information that was available. Saying that we were overwhelmed with the amount of testing, what was available, storage fees is the biggest understatement. Our heads were spinning…. But, I love spreadsheets. I used one to keep myself sane when I was planning our wedding and thought, why the heck not for finding the right sperm??

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I put all of the different banks on the sheet that we were looking at. I compared testing that they did. Storage fees. The information about the donor that was available to us. Pretty much any information I could find.

And honestly? They were mostly the same. There was some things that were tested for through some banks and not the others – but all of the big ones were covered (all STDs, all of the most common genetic diseases). The main difference in all of them was the amount of information that you could get about the donor and price. Since we had already decided that we didn’t want to know the donor – the amount of information that we would be getting was somewhat irrelevant to us. We would like for our kids to look like us. But we also knew that we would never get a perfect match because we were going outside of our own families for donation.

So, in the end, we decided to go with a very reputable bank that was middle of the road price-wise. They offered all of the testing that was important to us and the information on the donors that we needed to ensure that the babes will look (somewhat) like us.

What’s next? We will discuss insurance, our fertility appointment, stress, money and everything else that comes with this process, stay tuned!

Love,

Abby and Chrissy